September 23, 2008 at 12:59 pm #4117
A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT APPROACHES ARE BEING TRIED – We are still pissing in the wind.
EXTENSIVE REPORT IS BEING PREPARED ON A FRESH APPROACH TO THE PROBLEM – We just hired three kids fresh out of college.
CLOSE PROJECT COORDINATION – We know who to blame.
MAJOR TECHNOLOGICAL BREAKTHROUGH – It works OK, but looks very hi-tech.
CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS DELIVERED ASSURED – We are so far behind schedule the customer is happy to get it delivered.
PRELIMINARY OPERATIONAL TESTS WERE INCONCLUSIVE – The darn thing blew up when we threw the switch.
TEST RESULTS WERE EXTREMELY GRATIFYING – We are so surprised that the stupid thing works.
THE ENTIRE CONCEPT WILL HAVE TO BE ABANDONED – The only person who understood the thing quit.
IT IS IN THE PROCESS – It is so wrapped up in red tape that the situation is about hopeless.
WE WILL LOOK INTO IT – Forget it! We have enough problems for now.
PLEASE NOTE AND INITIAL – Let’s spread the responsibility for the screw up.
GIVE US THE BENEFIT OF YOUR THINKING – We’ll listen to what you have to say as long as it doesn’t interfere with what we’ve already done.
GIVE US YOUR INTERPRETATION – I can’t wait to hear this bull!
SEE ME or LET’S DISCUSS – Come into my office, I’m lonely.
ALL NEW – Not interchangeable with the previous design.
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT – It finally worked!
LOW MAINTENANCE – Impossible to fix if broken.
ITS IN TESTING RIGHT NOW- we have no idea how to do this.
WE ARE USING FOCUS GROUPS EXTENSIVELY- Maybe they know how its done.
OUR ONLY OPTION IS TO REENGENEER THE PROCESS- How else can we justify firing most of the existing staff without looking like complete idiots.
September 23, 2008 at 1:04 pm #5879
Great joke i will forward this to my friends!!!
September 23, 2008 at 2:57 pm #5882